It’s been a good and a hard week. The weather is turning to the dark winter gray that it does this time of year. Business is slow, arthritically slow. Fear of failure and fear of success seem to be scratching on the window to somehow find their way in. On the good side there is God and He seems to be letting me in on some cool stuff that He is doing. I think He might even invite me to join in some of that. Its that kind of affirmation and acceptance that warms the chilled soul on a day like today. My wife just brought me a hot coffee… that helps too!
I don’t want to write a blog, or article, or short story. I want to open up the front door of my soul and take you inside, give you something warm to drink and allow you to make yourself at home. The table is messy, the floor perhaps unswept a bit, but in here is most often where I hear God speak to me. It is where I process what He says and do the work of seeing just what it looks like once it’s all fleshed out. Of course the end product never ever looks like the blueprint I design. Perhaps that’s because it isn’t meant to, or perhaps because I never really get the Godspeak translated quite right. It used to bother me, this incongruity between what I thought and what becomes, but it doesn’t any more. If it is from the Father then it’s going to be great.
The last few months have seen a bit more activity in my soul room. That might be why it seems a little bit messier than usual. I have been hearing words that sound different than the ones that I used to hear. When I thought, pondered or studied things like ministry or gifts they came out sort of like what I read in the Bible; pastors, evangelists, teachers. It was pretty cut and dry in the title category, getting messier as I try to put skin on it. The word as of late has been a series of hyphenated words. Instead of the word pastor, I get pastoral-lifestyle. Instead of vocation I get bi-vocation. Instead of ministry I get co-living.
These hyphenated calls may be simply because of the space my head is in. They may also be new beginning for me where I begin to re-examine (another hyphen) what I have long thought about each of the ministry gifts I read about. This may be the place where I step out in faith and live out this new paradigm and make the way for others to follow and improve. I like the part about the new beginning. New is exciting and I like exciting, especially in our chilly monsoon season!
For now I really don’t have a whole lot of flesh on the bones of what I am hearing. I think that is really the reason that I invited you in; to warm you with the vision and allow you access to influence the process. You are valuable to God and I value you as well. I am glad you are here.
I have some more to pray about, some more to study, and even more to think through and look at through my own eyes as well as the eyes of the Holy Spirit.